I just gave myself a time out

You guys - do you ever have those mommy days where you just want to QUIT?

The kids are fighting and I have no idea who started it. Is the two year old is legitimately crying because her brother hit her with a light saber or because she wants said light saber and he won't give it to her?

Or when I step outside for a minute to water plants and come back in to find a pile of poop and puddle of pee all spread down the hallway from a certain two year old. And I just keep talking about how gross it is and then feeling worse about her having to listen to me complain.

I take a break from playing super heroes and bad guys in the fire station to attack an immense pile of laundry on my bed and the four year old flips out yelling I never play with him.

Time for a mommy time out.

As both children are grabbing at me and whining I leave my house and sit on my front lawn. I can hear them whining and wailing something or other from the front yard and I realize our little world is very audible from the neighborhood. And suddenly I feel sorry for our neighbors because they probably hear every tantrum and every sibling battle.

I take a deep breath and look around. I love the tall old trees on my street. It reminds me of how old this neighborhood and our house are. They remind me of the families who have lived on this block on the past and the children who have grown up in my house who may be parents now.

Sometimes I have to step away to notice and realize the whole world is out there - outside of the crying, laundry, and poop in the hall. I don't know why but for some reason this helps me to feel better and not completely lose my mind - yet.

Whenever I have days like this I fantasize what my life would be like if I had an important career with assistants and lattes and happy hours. (Of course my fantasy involves my two favorite beverages) And I imagine myself perfectly dressed, wearing the latest heels and my hair recently cut and high lighted. I even picture my manicured nails. Today my outfit is a perfectly white professional dress.

I know it's time to come back to my sweet cherubs. I know my little ones need me so much. And I give them so much. I take time outs when I need them and am okay if I don't feel happy and thankful right afterward. I didn't lose my temper or my mind and for now that is good enough.

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Into the Rabbit Hole ...

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