Into the Rabbit Hole ...

Here’s the crux of the book. The real reason we as parents are reading Siblings Without Rivalry.   How can we get these kids to stop fighting?!   How do I handle constant tattling? Why do they have to find a way to fight over every little thing and ruin fun things we have planned? And my kids are only 1 and a half and 3. I’m sure it gets even more interesting as time goes by. As seasoned mothers never cease to remind me- this stage doesn’t last forever. This part is the golden. It really combines Love and Logic and Siblings without Rivalry together. And so far it works. Want to know? You as a parent are somewhat of a magician. An illusionist to be exact.   Your object- give your kids the illusion they are in control. That they are the boss.   They are important and they have power. Whether the kids are fighting over property or what tv show to watch it’s pretty much the same concept. Leave it up to them to figure it out. I’m all for this. Less work for me equals te

Comparisons.  The next few blog posts will be dedicated to the book Siblings without Rivarly.  There is a big chunk of the book talking about how we compare our kids and how bad it is. And how it contributes to their fighting. Like ALOT.  Again, the cartoons in the book showing situations where the mom and dad compare siblings and their resulting thoughts are very helpful and all you really need to read.  When I read this chapter at first, I thought I don't compare my kids. They are too young. They are in fact only 3 and 16 months. What's to compare? Then I took a step back and thought at least I'll take a day and pay attention to what I'm doing and what I'm saying to see if I actually do compare them.  Well guess what? I do compare them. I talk to other adults IN FRONT of them about how they are so different. How when my son was a baby he couldn't walk until he was 16 months and my daughter walked at 11 months. And how my son started talki

The holidays are one of my favorite times of the year. I absolutely love Christmas. I have so many fond traditions and memories from when I was growing up. We always decorated our house for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving. We had three jobs which rotated each year between the three of us girls. Setting up the nativity scene, decorating the Santa themed mantle, and setting up the Christmas light up village. We all had our favorite. We all respected the tradition of the rotation - no questions asked.  It never crossed my mind that the rotation may have had something to do with my mother's sanity and putting an end to constant arguing between three sisters. Or how much work goes into the tradition of making Santa, angel, bell and Christmas tree sugar cookies and frosting each one together. We loved it. Now when my son had his first Christmas I was so excited and couldn't wait to share all of these great things about the season. He was 5 months old so it didn't quite r

How do we raise our children in this world?  I want to take a step back from the politics, the rhetoric, the trending hashtags and prayers vs. gun control debate. I want to address how our generation is going to raise our children in the era of mass shootings. Random mass shootings in our country.  I had not realized how much the fear of terror so close to home had affected me until I was at a Christmas concert at my church this past weekend. While listening to beautiful orchestra reverberating "Joy to the World' I began to think...what if there is a shooter planning on coming in here? My back is to the entrance. I began to fill with anxiety instead of peace. I heard a little boy asking his mom if a musician with his instrument was in fact a "guy with a big gun".   When did a concert I have attended most Christmases of my life turn into something other than joyous?  Growing up, it was normal for me to hear Tom Brokaw or Diane Sawyer on the evening news along