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Dear tired and hurting mamas...

Dear Mamas,


For me this is the Monday morning of spring break. For you it may just be another Monday and you may be completely not affected by school schedules yet. What if this week we had a choice?  A choice to let love be the loudest voice. Ultimately, we are really the ones who decide whether or not we are going to thrive in motherhood rather than merely surviving. It may not seem like that when love is not the loudest voice. When all the other crap weighs us down. When are not only desperately physically and emotionally needed constantly by our children but at the same time are attacked by the negativity of our mind. When we are so physically tired but then are not being kind to ourselves. Comparing ourselves to other moms in a negative way. Thinking other moms are better than us or that we are in adequate. We must try harder. Or how about worrying that something terrible will happen to our children unless we are completely aware and prepared for any situation? Or some of us may …
Recent posts

Mommy Shalom

Shalom means "peace with you." As a mom of two young children, the state of Shalom is on my mind. It begs the question of - when I am my own boss - at home with two young kids and my husband why do I feel the least bit of Shalom? I am more likely like a constant state of "stress with you" while I hurriedly try to keep everything up to a certain standard. Rush here. Rush there. Buy this. Buy that. Check Facebook. Clean. Get stressed and frazzled by my two year old throwing yet another tantrum.

The thing is I know these tantrums are coming. I know she is two. I know there is going to be messes to clean. I am responsible for feeding my family, being present with my kids all the while seeming to pull it off to the world without a hitch. Like a Boss.

But what if all that mattered was Shalom? What if my only mission was to love?

This week I focused on spring cleaning. Spring cleaning of my mind. I got rid off self imposed expectations, stress, comparison, and over functi…

The Mom Grinch

The other day I was feeling especially grinchy. Standing in the kitchen unloading the dishwasher for the tenth time that day, it dawned on me Christmas is only for children...and men. A feeling of bitterness, exhaustion and pressure crept over me as I crammed another sippy cup into the cupboard. It's up to me - the mom - to pull off Christmas. And since my kids are 2 and 4 - well it had better be magical. I wasn't exactly feeling magical. You know, the whole family, just yesterday were in the throws of the stomach flu and I'm pretty sure our elf, Sandy, brought it from the north pole and infected us all with his obnoxious Christmas germs.

So here I am mad at Christmas, because I've discovered December is a month of the year where moms need to put it in overdrive. The normal day to day doesn't go away. Now, I've got to decorate, move that elf, shop, bake cookies, design, address and mail Christmas cards, see Santa... I began to feel even more rotten. Then I utte…

Why I'm not moving to Canada and I hope you don't either

Dear fellow Americans,

Yesterday I woke up singing "sister suffragette" with misty eyes.

 "Cast off the shackles of yesterday
 shoulder to shoulder -
into the fray!"

Not because I love Hillary Clinton. Because of the historical significance that she was even on the ballot. That the idea a woman could run for president won't be a fairy tale to my children. As I sat on the brown corduroy couch in my predictably blue state I watched state after state shock the news as it came up bright red.

Friends, history is alive right now. We are the American people and the generation experiencing this shift in paradigm today. How are we going to respond?

Susan B. Anthony's grave was covered with women's "I voted" stickers yesterday.
 I don't think Susan B. Anthony would leave the country if she was alive today.
Did she leave the country or threaten to when she was arrested for illegal voting?

Did Rosa Parks try to leave the country after she faced Jim Cr…

Diagnosis Disorders and Uniqueness

Last week I found out some really hard news about my daughter.

In my gut, I always knew certain parenting strategies wouldn't work for her like they did for my son. Everyone with more than one kid knows that. But more often than not, there are some pretty challenging as well as amazing quirks my daughter has which makes her incredibly unique.

It seemed pretty clear to me my daughter has a speech delay. Not uncommon. However, the speech therapist also diagnosed her with something called sensory processing disorder.

All of her behaviors I had thought which make her very adventurous, unique, stubborn, strong willed and creative are categorized under this disorder.  Something about the term "disorder" really bothered me which is why it was so hard to hear. Of course no parent wants their child to struggle, but I shirked away from so quickly putting a label on my 2 year old.

The positive side to knowing she possibly has SPD is I already have gained some really positive strate…

Shame in Motherhood

I started my role as a mother with very different lenses than I have now. A different perspective I guess you would say. I would say, for me, being a mom transformed forced me to change. I mean really change.

I remember looking at my red faced newborn little boy and being so overwhelmed with love and joy and knowing what our little life would be like. How perfect it would be. What a great mother I would be. I envisioned going to all his little sports games, volunteering in all of his classes, and before that strolling down the sidewalk with a cute stroller, baby, and fashionable diaper bag. Ready to meet my mob of mom friends and their sweet babies. 
As a self proclaimed extroverted perfectionist I felt ready to tackle this new role and life as a stay at home mom like never has been done before! 
But, seriously, there is a major problem with being a perfectionist and a mother at the same time. The two cannot co exist in any healthy sort of way. Or any sort of way that won't send …

Maybe being completely mental is a good thing

Ok you guys. I went to Disneyland with my kids (2 and 4) BY MYSELF. Yes I am completely insane. But to my shock it has been done -successfully.

On the morning of August 30th I awoke realizing we had nothing on the calendar. Of course I had loads to do but there was nothing official we had to go to. I realized today is the last day of summer where we could just lounge around the house all day in our pjs or.... go to Disneyland!

We are fortunate enough to live in southern California so we can just hop up the freeway and go to Disneyland no big deal.. right? Now I know many of you carefully plan your trips to Disney from what to pack, when the kids will nap, what attractions and rides you will go on etc. And I realize this has much to do with my personality being  crazy spontaneous. However I decided (at the last minute nature lent itself well to this) to be a Disney minimalist.

So here's how I did Disney with two kids under 5 without losing my mind, without another adult, and actual…