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Mommy Shalom

Shalom means "peace with you." As a mom of two young children, the state of Shalom is on my mind. It begs the question of - when I am my own boss - at home with two young kids and my husband why do I feel the least bit of Shalom? I am more likely like a constant state of "stress with you" while I hurriedly try to keep everything up to a certain standard. Rush here. Rush there. Buy this. Buy that. Check Facebook. Clean. Get stressed and frazzled by my two year old throwing yet another tantrum.

The thing is I know these tantrums are coming. I know she is two. I know there is going to be messes to clean. I am responsible for feeding my family, being present with my kids all the while seeming to pull it off to the world without a hitch. Like a Boss.

But what if all that mattered was Shalom? What if my only mission was to love?

This week I focused on spring cleaning. Spring cleaning of my mind. I got rid off self imposed expectations, stress, comparison, and over functioning. And I boxed it up and dropped it off.

This week I prayed for Shalom. I prayed to see where and how I can love those around me. Because that's really my mission. And the funny thing is when I feel the most Shalom - I am able to love. Because being at peace allows me to see others and love others without my mind being distracted with the unnecessary crap.

The best part about all of it is - everything that needs to get done still does. Even if I spend the morning hiking among-st the wildflowers. Or baking bread. Because these activities are me. They are what I love to do and I share my love for them with my kids. And at the end of the day I realize even though life is hard and the task of loving others is hard and seeking Shalom is hard, It's okay to let go and allow myself to feel peace and feel happy. Even though I am far from perfect.

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