Skip to main content

Mommy Shalom

Shalom means "peace with you." As a mom of two young children, the state of Shalom is on my mind. It begs the question of - when I am my own boss - at home with two young kids and my husband why do I feel the least bit of Shalom? I am more likely like a constant state of "stress with you" while I hurriedly try to keep everything up to a certain standard. Rush here. Rush there. Buy this. Buy that. Check Facebook. Clean. Get stressed and frazzled by my two year old throwing yet another tantrum.

The thing is I know these tantrums are coming. I know she is two. I know there is going to be messes to clean. I am responsible for feeding my family, being present with my kids all the while seeming to pull it off to the world without a hitch. Like a Boss.

But what if all that mattered was Shalom? What if my only mission was to love?

This week I focused on spring cleaning. Spring cleaning of my mind. I got rid off self imposed expectations, stress, comparison, and over functioning. And I boxed it up and dropped it off.

This week I prayed for Shalom. I prayed to see where and how I can love those around me. Because that's really my mission. And the funny thing is when I feel the most Shalom - I am able to love. Because being at peace allows me to see others and love others without my mind being distracted with the unnecessary crap.

The best part about all of it is - everything that needs to get done still does. Even if I spend the morning hiking among-st the wildflowers. Or baking bread. Because these activities are me. They are what I love to do and I share my love for them with my kids. And at the end of the day I realize even though life is hard and the task of loving others is hard and seeking Shalom is hard, It's okay to let go and allow myself to feel peace and feel happy. Even though I am far from perfect.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Why I'm not moving to Canada and I hope you don't either

Dear fellow Americans,

Yesterday I woke up singing "sister suffragette" with misty eyes.

 "Cast off the shackles of yesterday
 shoulder to shoulder -
into the fray!"

Not because I love Hillary Clinton. Because of the historical significance that she was even on the ballot. That the idea a woman could run for president won't be a fairy tale to my children. As I sat on the brown corduroy couch in my predictably blue state I watched state after state shock the news as it came up bright red.

Friends, history is alive right now. We are the American people and the generation experiencing this shift in paradigm today. How are we going to respond?

Susan B. Anthony's grave was covered with women's "I voted" stickers yesterday.
 I don't think Susan B. Anthony would leave the country if she was alive today.
Did she leave the country or threaten to when she was arrested for illegal voting?

Did Rosa Parks try to leave the country after she faced Jim Cr…

Diagnosis Disorders and Uniqueness

Last week I found out some really hard news about my daughter.

In my gut, I always knew certain parenting strategies wouldn't work for her like they did for my son. Everyone with more than one kid knows that. But more often than not, there are some pretty challenging as well as amazing quirks my daughter has which makes her incredibly unique.

It seemed pretty clear to me my daughter has a speech delay. Not uncommon. However, the speech therapist also diagnosed her with something called sensory processing disorder.

All of her behaviors I had thought which make her very adventurous, unique, stubborn, strong willed and creative are categorized under this disorder.  Something about the term "disorder" really bothered me which is why it was so hard to hear. Of course no parent wants their child to struggle, but I shirked away from so quickly putting a label on my 2 year old.

The positive side to knowing she possibly has SPD is I already have gained some really positive strate…

Shame in Motherhood

I started my role as a mother with very different lenses than I have now. A different perspective I guess you would say. I would say, for me, being a mom transformed forced me to change. I mean really change.

I remember looking at my red faced newborn little boy and being so overwhelmed with love and joy and knowing what our little life would be like. How perfect it would be. What a great mother I would be. I envisioned going to all his little sports games, volunteering in all of his classes, and before that strolling down the sidewalk with a cute stroller, baby, and fashionable diaper bag. Ready to meet my mob of mom friends and their sweet babies. 
As a self proclaimed extroverted perfectionist I felt ready to tackle this new role and life as a stay at home mom like never has been done before! 
But, seriously, there is a major problem with being a perfectionist and a mother at the same time. The two cannot co exist in any healthy sort of way. Or any sort of way that won't send …