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Dear tired and hurting mamas...

Dear Mamas,


For me this is the Monday morning of spring break. For you it may just be another Monday and you may be completely not affected by school schedules yet. What if this week we had a choice?  A choice to let love be the loudest voice. Ultimately, we are really the ones who decide whether or not we are going to thrive in motherhood rather than merely surviving. It may not seem like that when love is not the loudest voice. When all the other crap weighs us down. When are not only desperately physically and emotionally needed constantly by our children but at the same time are attacked by the negativity of our mind. When we are so physically tired but then are not being kind to ourselves. Comparing ourselves to other moms in a negative way. Thinking other moms are better than us or that we are in adequate. We must try harder. Or how about worrying that something terrible will happen to our children unless we are completely aware and prepared for any situation? Or some of us may just feel so lonely. Longing for adult connection conversation and at a loss for who we have become.

I think one of the deepest human desires and needs at every stage of our life is to be truly known and loved. This stage, for me at least, becomes very confusing in motherhood. We are obviously loved by our children. That love is so raw and primal. However, the strength and inner resilience required as a mother also reflects the necessity to be known and loved as who I am right here and now. Just to be known and loved as me. Not defined as my roles, but who I am as an individual and loved. We need a community of our peers to encourage us. We need to be around other moms who are committed to encouraging each other to let love be the loudest voice.

I recently heard a really sad story about a mom who was involved in a community of other mothers. She picked her son up from school, had the younger one in the car, and drove to an abandoned parking lot. She then shot both her kids and then herself. She left a note saying she could not bear to let her children grow up with such a fearful and terrible mother. This story broke my heart. It is possible to be surrounded by others yet feel so alone. I wish I could wrap my arms around her and tell her she is loved and she is enough. But it's too late.

If you are reading this and are feeling desperately alone and not enough please know I have felt this way. It takes courage to be honest and real and your true self with another mom. We need each other. We don't have time to allow all of the fake bullshit be the most important. We need to lift each other up, love and truly know each other. Because right now we are doing important and powerful work. We are raising the next generation.

There are few things as powerful as mothers rallying together to do something they believe in. Let's rally together to believe in each other. Because when we do we will not only save ourselves but we could save a sister who is desperate. And when we let love be the loudest voice, our children see. And that's how we can change the world.

So here's to a Monday where we set out to do the hardest job we've ever done and let love be the loudest voice.

Love,
Dana

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