Into the Rabbit Hole ...

Here’s the crux of the book. The real reason we as parents are reading Siblings Without Rivalry.   How can we get these kids to stop fighting?!   How do I handle constant tattling? Why do they have to find a way to fight over every little thing and ruin fun things we have planned? And my kids are only 1 and a half and 3. I’m sure it gets even more interesting as time goes by. As seasoned mothers never cease to remind me- this stage doesn’t last forever. This part is the golden. It really combines Love and Logic and Siblings without Rivalry together. And so far it works. Want to know? You as a parent are somewhat of a magician. An illusionist to be exact.   Your object- give your kids the illusion they are in control. That they are the boss.   They are important and they have power. Whether the kids are fighting over property or what tv show to watch it’s pretty much the same concept. Leave it up to them to figure it out. I’m all for this. Less work for me equals te

Comparisons.  The next few blog posts will be dedicated to the book Siblings without Rivarly.  There is a big chunk of the book talking about how we compare our kids and how bad it is. And how it contributes to their fighting. Like ALOT.  Again, the cartoons in the book showing situations where the mom and dad compare siblings and their resulting thoughts are very helpful and all you really need to read.  When I read this chapter at first, I thought I don't compare my kids. They are too young. They are in fact only 3 and 16 months. What's to compare? Then I took a step back and thought at least I'll take a day and pay attention to what I'm doing and what I'm saying to see if I actually do compare them.  Well guess what? I do compare them. I talk to other adults IN FRONT of them about how they are so different. How when my son was a baby he couldn't walk until he was 16 months and my daughter walked at 11 months. And how my son started talki

The holidays are one of my favorite times of the year. I absolutely love Christmas. I have so many fond traditions and memories from when I was growing up. We always decorated our house for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving. We had three jobs which rotated each year between the three of us girls. Setting up the nativity scene, decorating the Santa themed mantle, and setting up the Christmas light up village. We all had our favorite. We all respected the tradition of the rotation - no questions asked.  It never crossed my mind that the rotation may have had something to do with my mother's sanity and putting an end to constant arguing between three sisters. Or how much work goes into the tradition of making Santa, angel, bell and Christmas tree sugar cookies and frosting each one together. We loved it. Now when my son had his first Christmas I was so excited and couldn't wait to share all of these great things about the season. He was 5 months old so it didn't quite r

How do we raise our children in this world?  I want to take a step back from the politics, the rhetoric, the trending hashtags and prayers vs. gun control debate. I want to address how our generation is going to raise our children in the era of mass shootings. Random mass shootings in our country.  I had not realized how much the fear of terror so close to home had affected me until I was at a Christmas concert at my church this past weekend. While listening to beautiful orchestra reverberating "Joy to the World' I began to think...what if there is a shooter planning on coming in here? My back is to the entrance. I began to fill with anxiety instead of peace. I heard a little boy asking his mom if a musician with his instrument was in fact a "guy with a big gun".   When did a concert I have attended most Christmases of my life turn into something other than joyous?  Growing up, it was normal for me to hear Tom Brokaw or Diane Sawyer on the evening news along

I figured it out! I always wondered why am I so incredibly neurotic about my kitchen being clean? When my entire (albeit cute and cozy) house is a disaster I am okay as long as my kitchen is clean. If my kitchen is a mess watch out. Crazy mama up in here. Ok let me back up a little bit. I have always had a special way to have a space where I spend the most time. As a 3 year old little girl my mother found me lining up my toys in my room and organizing. I always had a clean messenger bag in high school with neatly labeled binders. Wherever I studied in college or graduate school had to start out neat....Fast forward to my first major career. When I got my desk - you could find me purging the old dusty files, getting out the Lysol wipes and making sure the highlighters and pens were put in the right place. Then I got to work. Before I wrote this post I tidied up my desk. So cleaning just may influence my "zen." So what? I am raising children. All of this work, self control,

Have you noticed there is a plethora of blog posts announcing the top "things" you need to know. I'm just trying to keep track. I read one titled for instance "10 things you should NEVER say to your child." Oh man I'd better read that. I nervously think I've probably said 6 out of the 10 already. Then the next post - "the one thing that your child needs to hear from you"- Ah! What is it?! I am I saying it? Is my husband saying it? Panicked. Must read the one thing. Then 8 things you must know to raise a boy - or no it's 10 things to say and do to raise a confident girl today...So I am going to need a list of all these "things" for me as a mom to remember. These exact "things" I am supposed to do and supposed to say. I mean seriously.  Anyways I decided after seeing yet another one to do a post of my own. The 5 things this mama is thankful for this Thanksgiving. Oh and if you are like me, you totally didn't read t

Here's the nitty gritty break down on the old L&L.  First some background: Before I left life as I knew it, or in other words became a mom, I was trained in good old love and logic. I came to work dressed professionally, met with my collegues and talked through all the different scenarios we could use love and logic techniques with the students we worked with.  Students I might add who were "at risk" in other words expelled, on probation,in gangs, using drugs..etc. Love and Logic worked miraculously with these guys. I mean really. AMAZING.    So...When I saw there was Love and Logic for parents. Let alone for EARLY CHILDHOOD! I thought this is for me ! I am already so amazing at it that using Love and Logic on my 3 year old son and 15 month old daughter will be a BREEZE.  Well it's not. This parenting book is not for half ass parenting. Love and Logic does work. Really well. The key is being consistent.  Now for me I had no problem not yelling at teens

Well, let me get started and tell you my goals here. I bought the book Love and Logic for Early Childhood. I read the first three chapters probably five separate times and the book did a great job collecting dust on my nightstand. It wasn't until my then 11 month old baby girl began using the book as a teething toy that I remembered AGAIN I should read it.  Long story short - after a few chats with some other mamas, a book club was born. I agreed to facilitate and read the book. The catch.. well when you facilitate a book club you actually have to read the book.  So I did.  And I loved facilitating the book club. And all the cool discussions we had. Then we began to talk about those books about parenting we wish we had read and books we have gathering dust. I have been thinking about those discussions we had over wine after putting our babies to bed, throwing the dishes in the sink (or not) and showing up to talk about a parenting book we actually read!!! I wondered...wh

I recently came across a cartoon. It had two little kids beating each other and a frustrated mother on the couch. She had a thought bubble which said, "We thought they'd play together. We said it would be good for him to have a sister."  Sibling rivalry in my humble experience of approximately 16 months starts at conception. So I decided for my next book to tackle a review of was Silblings Without Rivalry .  This particular novel has sat next to my bed, on my bookshelf, and then moved to a coffee table and the top of the piano. I have finally read it. The book is very eye opening. If you want some quick go to ways of handling your kids fighting flip to the cartoons in each chapter. They illustrate a skit in how I handle situations now and then how the author says to handle them and how miraculous it is.  Let's just say I'm pretty skeptical.  To give you an introduction, the author has you empathize with older sibling. The author compares the entry of a

Sleep.  Beautiful glorious sleep. Today I was asked, "when does your family thrive?" The first thing that popped into my head was, "When we are all asleep." Seriously.  So I was under the impression that sleep deprevation was something only to be experienced when your children are babies. That precious year which is mostly a blur and most mothers forget how tired they become and have more babies.  I sometimes think life has it's own forshadowing moments. Places where God gives us a heads up for what's to come. As I was paying for our groceries, the clerk saw my children and exclaimed, "You must be tired! I bet you don't get any sleep!" I thought to myself they aren't babies! I have a toddler and a preschooler! At least I get my sleep at night.  That night was different. And so has been every night since. Maybe my kids caught on. Maybe they thought to themselves that Lady is right! My mom should be more tired! Let's take shifts o