Skip to main content

Love and Logic UH OH HOW SAD

Here's the nitty gritty break down on the old L&L. 

First some background: Before I left life as I knew it, or in other words became a mom, I was trained in good old love and logic. I came to work dressed professionally, met with my collegues and talked through all the different scenarios we could use love and logic techniques with the students we worked with. 

Students I might add who were "at risk" in other words expelled, on probation,in gangs, using drugs..etc. Love and Logic worked miraculously with these guys. I mean really. AMAZING. 

So...When I saw there was Love and Logic for parents. Let alone for EARLY CHILDHOOD! I thought this is for me! I am already so amazing at it that using Love and Logic on my 3 year old son and 15 month old daughter will be a BREEZE. 

Well it's not. This parenting book is not for half ass parenting. Love and Logic does work. Really well. The key is being consistent. 

Now for me I had no problem not yelling at teens at work. I did not get hot and flustered and take things personally when they cussed me out. I could go home to peace and quiet and my yellow labrador and the end of the day and come back refreshed and ready to love and logic all over the place. 

When you are using love and logic with your little ones. Well...lets just say I have yelled. (You're not supposed to do that in the book). They haven't cussed me out yet but my son does know how to use "dammit" correctly..but that's for another day. 

 Ok back to the review. Overall, the book works. The idea that you give kids choices so that they perceive they have control is great. It works. 

Thinking of consequences related to the actions is difficult. You have to get creative. No more reverting to time outs and spankings? for everything. 

The enforceable statements are fun. Don't say anything you can't back up. Here's my experience with this one. 

Hey son -feel free to keep the toys you pick up! (Feeling pretty proud of my L&L self). I proceed to have to clean up all his toys. He  loses them. 

Suddenly he looks at me and grabs his sister's new toy. 

"Hey mommy! I picked this toy up! I get to keep it!" Umm..... 

Overall the enforceable statements are awesome though. Like, "I charge money every time you scream in the car."

Love and Logic is also all about locking in the empathy. My buzz word "How Sad". When I say this, seriously everything stops. And when I actually started parenting my daughter I said it to her and my son was shocked and asked WHAT DID SHE DO??!! 

Overall- This is what I would do if I were you. Get the book from the library. Borrow it from a friend. It's hard to find. Read the love and logic experiments at the end of each chapter. That's all you have to do to get the gist of if it's right for you. Oh yeah... personally I think some of the thinking is a little black and white. So I used what I like for my family and ignored what I didn't want to do. Because I'm the mom. 

So do you want to read it now? Or in five minutes? 


Popular posts from this blog

Dear tired and hurting mamas...

Dear Mamas,

For me this is the Monday morning of spring break. For you it may just be another Monday and you may be completely not affected by school schedules yet. What if this week we had a choice?  A choice to let love be the loudest voice. Ultimately, we are really the ones who decide whether or not we are going to thrive in motherhood rather than merely surviving. It may not seem like that when love is not the loudest voice. When all the other crap weighs us down. When are not only desperately physically and emotionally needed constantly by our children but at the same time are attacked by the negativity of our mind. When we are so physically tired but then are not being kind to ourselves. Comparing ourselves to other moms in a negative way. Thinking other moms are better than us or that we are in adequate. We must try harder. Or how about worrying that something terrible will happen to our children unless we are completely aware and prepared for any situation? Or some of us may …

Mommy Shalom

Shalom means "peace with you." As a mom of two young children, the state of Shalom is on my mind. It begs the question of - when I am my own boss - at home with two young kids and my husband why do I feel the least bit of Shalom? I am more likely like a constant state of "stress with you" while I hurriedly try to keep everything up to a certain standard. Rush here. Rush there. Buy this. Buy that. Check Facebook. Clean. Get stressed and frazzled by my two year old throwing yet another tantrum.

The thing is I know these tantrums are coming. I know she is two. I know there is going to be messes to clean. I am responsible for feeding my family, being present with my kids all the while seeming to pull it off to the world without a hitch. Like a Boss.

But what if all that mattered was Shalom? What if my only mission was to love?

This week I focused on spring cleaning. Spring cleaning of my mind. I got rid off self imposed expectations, stress, comparison, and over functi…

Letting go and folding towels

I thrive when I have things to do. A schedule, something to accomplish, things to check off my mental list. I feel like the most ungrateful person because here I am struggling with the day to day of what do we do next. A summer at home with my kids. We went to the beach yesterday - we are going to the beach today. For someone who likes to move and have places to be it seems more stressful to me than anything else. Especially since in a month some major things are happening. Like my son is going to kindergarten. My daughter is starting preschool. A major volunteer role I'm doing is going to be in full swing.

But for now. The waiting. And the pressure to enjoy every minute. Because this is the last time I have my kids at home without having to have at least one of them at school everyday. I keep thinking about it. And so of course, I decided I'm going to paint their bathroom and the horribly ugly pink claw foot tub another color. All in one day. The other day I organized my 3 y…