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The day I thought my son was a sociopath

The dark times. The year of my fairly new mothering journey when I had a newborn baby girl and a not yet two year old boy. Although my mind desperately wants to forget those days blurred with chaos, two kids in diapers, and a year where my body was pushed mentally and physically past what I thought was my limit I need to remember and share with all of you who are either currently in this stage or can remember. Does it get easier? Honestly it does. This doesn't mean it gets easy per say. The biggest difference is sleep and more of it and to me is the biggest difference in the whole world.

So the event in question - which I completely forgot about (like I said the year is turning into a blur of darkness in my memory only documented by an exponential amount of cute baby photos which is incredibly dangerous and is nature's way of tricking me into wanting more babies)  until a dear friend of mine told me how her son peed on her pile of clean laundry and she did not know until she realized why she smelled like pee later that day. Oh my gosh. It all came flooding back. The morning. The couch covered with said unfolded laundry. I remember sitting on the floor with my coffee next to me. Don't ask me why not sit on the couch or nearby chair. I don't have an answer for you. The TV on some PBS cartoon..most likely Curious George.. Feeling unbelievably tired and getting up off the floor to go change a 5 month old's diaper.

When I came back to the scene I reached for my coffee and saw something I thank God to this day I noticed. There were these strange bubbles foaming in my regular home made drip coffee. I decided against taking a sip and then saw it. A puddle around the coffee cup. A puddle smelling and looking like pee. I look at my then 2 year old's smiling proud face and ask him, "Did you pee in my coffee?"

Biggest and proudest grin and a definite , "Yes mommy!"

I did not know what to do. They don’t say in any parenting book or lecture - what to do when you are sleep deprived and  your two year old son pees in your coffee on purpose. (not sure how he could accidentally, but had to add that in there). So naturally I went in my bathroom locked the door and freaked out.

My hands shaking with anger and caffeine dts; I called my mom.
I don't know if she ever imagined having this conversation with her daughter.
"Mom. I am so angry! I don't know what to do! My son intentionally peed in my coffee and he wanted me to drink his pee! OH MY GOSH I AM RAISING A SOCIOPATH!!"
After admitting I was hiding in the bathroom and reassuring grandma the baby was OK and safe in her crib she let me know he most likely is not a sociopath. And probably saw my coffee mug on the floor and thought it looked like a great target and aimed.

That explains his proud smile. And 2 year old boys typically don't have the ability to hatch a diabolical plan to get their mom to drink pee. They just like to aim their penis and pee at a fun target. Oh. Ok. Cool.

Then there was the conversation about peeing in the potty. And not in mommy's mug. And I don't leave any sort of drink on the floor anymore. Probably because it gets easier and I don't blindly do weird stuff like that. That I know of.


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