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How this day changed

This morning was one for the books. I can tell you it reflected a chaotic and bleak day based on how it began. It consisted of a neglected coffee cup and two unique challenges from my preschooler and toddler. My job is to get my preschooler to school by 9am. My obstacles were clear. He didn't want to go and cried about how he doesn't want to see another kid in his class because he's afraid this kid will hit him and say mean things. Oh my gosh. Did I mention he's 3? My mind is swirling with how to help him be brave and courageous and at the same time I want desperately to keep him home and hug him and fill him with love instead of be brought down by someone else.  Of course in the midst of trying to navigate this difficult situation, my almost two year old daughter declared to the house and entire neighborhood she decided to come to preschool drop off in her brother's rain boots and nothing else. Besides the obvious point where she needs to wear clothes in public her brother was not too happy in her boot choice. Screaming, back arching, writhing and stripping toddler and scared preschooler. Good Morning !

I don't know how it happened, but I dropped him off at school and gave him a big hug and brought my daughter with her haphazard pants and top, no shoes and wild uncombed hair.  Arriving at home with my moody toddler herself something clicked. I realized I have a choice to make about the day. I put on my running shoes, strapped her in the stroller and went running even though I drank way too much luke warm coffee and way too little water. Once I got going I noticed something. Since the last time I took this familiar path along a familiar road hundred of flowers have bloomed. I mean an astonishing amount. The further I ran along the path the more gorgeous flowers greeted me. Flowers neatly planned and planted by the city then suddenly open spaces with tangled messes of bright wild flowers interwoven and nourished not by irrigation but only by the scant rainfall of San Diego. Even on my way back along the same path I noticed flowers I hadn't seen on the way out.

My heart filled with joy and peace. The flowers planted and planned bloomed well and perfectly. However the wildflowers in all their unexpected, tangled and seemingly random and spontaneous beauty astonished me. They seemed to thrive despite drought and disorder. All of the flowers though different flourished in harmony along my path. Just like mothering. Some days seem as orderly as the planted and planned flowers. Some days are a mix. Today and most days are like those wildflowers. A tangled, unplanned and organically beautiful mix of flourishing in adversity. Taking a break to run and notice nature allowed me to breathe, slow down, and realize flourishing is possible despite worldly conditions. And that filled me with the strength and peace today requires.

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