Skip to main content

Stronger does not mean more Perfect

You know how there are those days where there seems to be a theme persisting? Like there's something that I keep getting banged on the head that I need to pay attention to for some particular reason.

Yesterday was one of those days.

It started with an ambitious early morning jog with the two year old in the single stroller which is always a treat compared to the 100+ lb load of both kids in the ball and chain  double stroller. I love to think on my runs and writing and running go hand and hand for me. I felt like I was in a slump and had no other material to say about life, but then suddenly this phrase popped into my mind

Stronger does not mean more perfect.

Strong does not equal perfect.

I am getting stronger - but I am not getting more perfect. In fact, last night's dishes are still in the sink. The kitchen and my house are far from perfect. But I am getting stronger. I am out running and breathing the fresh morning air.

This realization kept bugging me throughout the day as I did things that filled me up instead of things that made me strive for perfection.

Then as if I had been preparing for this moment all day it happened. Here's the scene:

I'm sitting at the kitchen table with my four year old son and he desperately wants to write a note to his daddy. He just started making lines which resemble letters and decided he wanted to write a card. His focus and determination- which I have known his whole life- began to shine through in a way which I recognized all too well. He had just started writing letters not a week ago - yet his brow furrowed and his pencil scribbled angry lines when his "v" in love was not exactly like the example I drew.

He wrote the note. I felt so much pride. Then he wanted to write more and the words and letters were not how he wanted and his anger built. I then realized with all the utmost importance - how can I teach him to love himself and not strive for perfection when he watches me daily striving for perfection and getting angry when life isn't up to my unrealistic expectations?

I need to stop striving for that perfect standard RIGHT NOW. Because if I don't I will only feed his tendency toward perfection and he will struggle. He will feel like he needs to prove himself to be loved.

I hug and kiss him and praise him over and over for his hard work, determination and how caring his heart is that he wanted to write a note saying how much he loved his daddy. Then we decided we had practiced enough and it was time to play.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Letting go and folding towels

I thrive when I have things to do. A schedule, something to accomplish, things to check off my mental list. I feel like the most ungrateful person because here I am struggling with the day to day of what do we do next. A summer at home with my kids. We went to the beach yesterday - we are going to the beach today. For someone who likes to move and have places to be it seems more stressful to me than anything else. Especially since in a month some major things are happening. Like my son is going to kindergarten. My daughter is starting preschool. A major volunteer role I'm doing is going to be in full swing.

But for now. The waiting. And the pressure to enjoy every minute. Because this is the last time I have my kids at home without having to have at least one of them at school everyday. I keep thinking about it. And so of course, I decided I'm going to paint their bathroom and the horribly ugly pink claw foot tub another color. All in one day. The other day I organized my 3 y…

Dear tired and hurting mamas...

Dear Mamas,


For me this is the Monday morning of spring break. For you it may just be another Monday and you may be completely not affected by school schedules yet. What if this week we had a choice?  A choice to let love be the loudest voice. Ultimately, we are really the ones who decide whether or not we are going to thrive in motherhood rather than merely surviving. It may not seem like that when love is not the loudest voice. When all the other crap weighs us down. When are not only desperately physically and emotionally needed constantly by our children but at the same time are attacked by the negativity of our mind. When we are so physically tired but then are not being kind to ourselves. Comparing ourselves to other moms in a negative way. Thinking other moms are better than us or that we are in adequate. We must try harder. Or how about worrying that something terrible will happen to our children unless we are completely aware and prepared for any situation? Or some of us may …

Diagnosis Disorders and Uniqueness

Last week I found out some really hard news about my daughter.

In my gut, I always knew certain parenting strategies wouldn't work for her like they did for my son. Everyone with more than one kid knows that. But more often than not, there are some pretty challenging as well as amazing quirks my daughter has which makes her incredibly unique.

It seemed pretty clear to me my daughter has a speech delay. Not uncommon. However, the speech therapist also diagnosed her with something called sensory processing disorder.

All of her behaviors I had thought which make her very adventurous, unique, stubborn, strong willed and creative are categorized under this disorder.  Something about the term "disorder" really bothered me which is why it was so hard to hear. Of course no parent wants their child to struggle, but I shirked away from so quickly putting a label on my 2 year old.

The positive side to knowing she possibly has SPD is I already have gained some really positive strate…