Into the Rabbit Hole ...

The dark times. The year of my fairly new mothering journey when I had a newborn baby girl and a not yet two year old boy. Although my mind desperately wants to forget those days blurred with chaos, two kids in diapers, and a year where my body was pushed mentally and physically past what I thought was my limit I need to remember and share with all of you who are either currently in this stage or can remember. Does it get easier? Honestly it does. This doesn't mean it gets easy per say. The biggest difference is sleep and more of it and to me is the biggest difference in the whole world. So the event in question - which I completely forgot about (like I said the year is turning into a blur of darkness in my memory only documented by an exponential amount of cute baby photos which is incredibly dangerous and is nature's way of tricking me into wanting more babies)  until a dear friend of mine told me how her son peed on her pile of clean laundry and she did not know until s

This morning was one for the books. I can tell you it reflected a chaotic and bleak day based on how it began. It consisted of a neglected coffee cup and two unique challenges from my preschooler and toddler. My job is to get my preschooler to school by 9am. My obstacles were clear. He didn't want to go and cried about how he doesn't want to see another kid in his class because he's afraid this kid will hit him and say mean things. Oh my gosh. Did I mention he's 3? My mind is swirling with how to help him be brave and courageous and at the same time I want desperately to keep him home and hug him and fill him with love instead of be brought down by someone else.  Of course in the midst of trying to navigate this difficult situation, my almost two year old daughter declared to the house and entire neighborhood she decided to come to preschool drop off in her brother's rain boots and nothing else. Besides the obvious point where she needs to wear clothes in public her

So it happened. I really said it. Today I banned TV and movies for an indefinite period of time at 6:30 AM.  Or maybe said forever. I should probably pick up my Love and Logic book again because I guarantee I talked way too much  and also did not have a delayed consequence. This is what went down in our household this morning. 3 year old and 1 year old wake up at 5 am They get to watch cartoons while I grasp for consciousness and coffee. 6:30 am - TV is turned off. With plenty of warning. I say to my lovely three year old son, "Are you hungry for breakfast?" and so begins one of the most heated and disrespectful exchanges my boy has ever graced me with. Heaven help me. NO! He replies in the rudest tone you have ever heard. Remembering love and logic I say, "Oh no looks like a little bedroom time is needed." When he kicks me in the shin and says," I'd rather hit you!" All the love and logic is out the window. I carry his writhing little body to h

There's no other time when the walls of our house feel as if they are closing in then waking up to another day where we have to cancel all plans because the kids are still sick. I never thought I'd feel so happy to see green snot turn clear akin to a bail bondsman saving me from jail after a crazy night.  But it's when the kids are sick the days and nights blend together and I am folding my laundry realizing I'm only folding a week's worth of pajamas. With two kids 22 months apart and both not yet old enough to be in elementary school it's a challenge figure out how to navigate our days.  There's a reason I almost enrolled my son in soccer when he was 1 and then took my daughter to a gymnastics class at the same age. When I realized I was paying a high amount of money to do the exact same things in a gym that we can do at the playground for free I asked the coach (of a class of 20 toddlers) what he was trying to accomplish. He told me the class is meant

Hey Guys - This is an open letter to the outside world. How ya doing? We've been in strict rabbit hole quarantine over here since contagion 2016 hit Tuesday afternoon. Sorry for all the hundreds of kids and people we encountered during free museum day at balboa park Tuesday morning. Had no idea my toddler was about to be hit with some gnarly virus. Anyone want a play by play of the past few days? If not just stop reading. Excuse my delirious state. I feel I must document what life has been like on the inside and maybe some other stay at home moms or moms who have to stay at home when their child is sick can relate. Day 1. High fever hits. Enter hot, but super cuddly and sweet toddler sleeping on my lap. This isn't so bad I think. As long as her fever is manageable. Enter psycho paranoid mom mode taking poor baby's temperature every ten minutes because I am just sure she is going to get a fever sending us to the emergency room. (That never happened).  Night 1. Cr